Saturdays
by Galantria
Summary: Katie Bell and Fred Weasley's crazy weekend includes yoga, spelling, dirty socks, wet willies, and a very confused Neville Longbottom!


"Why hello there!" Two sock-covered feet entered Katie Bell's vision. The feet were long and narrow and the socks wrapping them were worn Hanes with threads poking out.

"Stuff it, Fred," Katie replied naturally and continued to squint ahead of her.

The redhead's distinctive cheery laughter filled her ears. "Now why would I want to do that? Besides, darling, I'm positively livid to find out why my favorite little Katie is hanging from an armchair upside down…my what an unpleasant shade of red you are!" One big toe approached Katie's face as if to point out her coloring.

"Ak!" she screamed and rolled out of her position and onto the floor. "Fred! I can't have your foot touching me! Who knows where that…thing…has been?"

"My, my, touchy!" Fred bent down and scooped up Katie easily, lifting her so that she kicked in his arms. "Since when has my foot been inferior? Since when have you been too good for my foot?" Katie shrieked as Fred began to spin her. She wasn't afraid of heights (what kind of Chaser is afraid of heights?) but she wasn't too eager to be in the arms of the least responsible student to ever grace Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry with his presence.

"Huh? Huh?" Fred prompted as Katie continued to yelp. Suddenly the arms holding her vanished and Katie plummeted to a soft landing in her armchair. "But really, Kates," Fred swung a leg over the arm of the chair and settled down with his head rested in his hand thoughtfully. "Why were you upside down?"

"Yoga," Katie answered promptly. "I'm trying to learn yoga. Oliver says it will help me be more graceful and flexible and such on a broom."

"Oliver also says that a diet of straight carrots helps him focus on the pitch."

Katie laughed. "Sometimes he knows what he's talking about, you know."

"Yep, uh huh." Fred nodded. "His talk on shinning broom handles and the size of beater bats was very informative."

"Size of- hey!" Fred dodged Katie's fist and looked down on her with a smirk.

"But besides the birds and the bees info, good old Ollie really hasn't been that helpful, Katie."

"Don't be a perv, Freddie."

"A perv? I never got that word. It's pervert, not 'perv.' Pervert. P-E-R-V-E-R-T." Fred spelled in a very know it all way.

"Aw, can puppy spell? Good job, puppy!" Katie crooned and patted Fred's head. He barked in reply.

"So, anyhow is the yoga working for you, Kates?" Fred asked once he mimed taking a doggie biscuit from his friend.

"Not really. I mean it's …okay, but I'm about to die of blood pressure to the head."

"Blood pressure to the head, very good," Fred said as if he were a psychiatrist taking notes.

"Yeah and that's not the worst of it!"

"Not the worst of it, Katie? Do tell: what is the worst?"

"Well, every time I try to focus, I see the most absolutely-"

"Absolutely?"

"Amazingly-"

"Amazingly?"

"Indescribably-"

"Indescribably?"

"Perfectly-"

"Perfectly?"

"Hideous-"

"Hideous?!"

"Pair of socks."

"Socks?"

"Yes. Socks. And they're right in my field of vision! Sometimes they're purple. Sometimes they're mix-matched. Sometimes they're neon with blue stripes. But you know what they are today?"

"What are these hideous socks today?"

"Simple, dirty, Hanes…that almost touched my face you jerk!" Katie finished as she shoved Fred off of the arm. His arms flew up and his face twisted in a way that reminded Katie of Hermit the Frog.

Katie was quietly humming Green Sleeves when Fred's rumpled head reappeared over the edge of the armrest. He was sputtering indignantly.

"You push me off the chair for wearing socks?"

"Hideous socks, yes," Katie answered calmly and pulled out a nail file.

"You push me off and you've seen this face?!" Fred pointed a freckled finger at the base of his chin. "You have seen this face, right?"

Katie cracked up. "You think that face will save you?"

"Um, duh. It happens to be 100 irresistible, so…yeah."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Well…" Contemplated Katie. "I've stripped you of your pride and dignity, the least I can do is leave you with your dreams. Fred you are totally right; your face is 100 irresistible."

"Why Katherine Bell, is that sarcasm I hear?" Fred grabbed her arm and with one well-timed tug flipped her out of the chair and onto the ground beside him. He smiled wickedly. "You know what comes next, don't you?"

Before Katie could answer, the dirty old sock came off of Fred's foot and was promptly tossed at her. After a great deal of shrieking and jumping, Katie managed to remove the article from her personal space. Gathering all the maturity she possessed, Katie held out her hand and slowly licked it until it glistened with saliva. Fred's eyes widened. Without a second's hesitation, Katie pounced on the redhead. Securing him under her, she proceeded, through cried of mercy, to give Fredrick Weasley a wet willy.

"Ah! Ah! AK! Katie, please!"

"Have you learned your lesson, Freddie?" Katie asked through the screams.

"Yes! Yes! YES!"

Fred's ear was abandoned by Katie's saliva-covered fingers. "God, Katie," said Fred as he shook his head. "How much did you lick your hand? It feels like the ocean inside of here!" Katie laughed.

"Sorry, Freddie. I know you're a bit spit-a-phobic."

"No prob, Kates. I kinda had it coming, but wow! From now on I'm calling you Katie, The Slobbering Wonder!"

"Thanks Fred," Katie replied sarcastically.

"No problem, Katie the Slobbering Wonder."

"God, that's going to get old fast…"

Just then Neville walked in. His pants were three inches too short and his neck was three inches too long. Good old Neville. "Hey Guys-" Neville surveyed the friends. They were sitting on the ground with rumpled hair. Katie was red in the face and in her pajamas. Fred was breathing hard, missing a sock and interestingly enough had spit trickling down his face.

"Um, do you guys want this condom? My Gran had me carry it around just in case, you know?"

Two blank faces stared back at Neville. The boy blushed scarlet. "Well, I'll just leave it here for you…" The boy practically sprinted off after tossing the packet at Fred. It wasn't until the two friends had stared blankly for a couple more minutes that they both collapsed in laughter on the floor, wiping tears from their eyes.

A/N Hmmm… I don't have ANY explanation for this! None at all!! It was supposed to just be a regular Saturday with Fred and Katie. If you guys like this I might continue it with other random moments…. So weird! Hahaha. Sorry if there are any mistakes. I'm tired and wanted to post something.


End file.
